A percentage of the proceeds will be used to help clean up the ocean. 

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We apologize; it will be impossible for people to social distance when they see you wearing our swimwear.

Check out our founder's Instagram. He spends thousands of hours making jokes/real companies.  

If you find a store that says masks are optional, then we are pretty sure you can just walk in naked. 

In order to speed up production time, we are open to partnering with an established manufacturer.

The only thing that will spread faster than Covid is your phone number.

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Our suits help fatten your curves, so you can show off what your momma gave you. 

Check our parent company to see our growing network. 

Our Super Spreadwear product line is still in development, but we released a few concept designs.

We donate a portion of the profits.The only cause your friend's swimsuit purchase helped is their own narcissism.

Many startups half-ass their designs. Not us. The only thing half assed will be people flaunting their cheeks in our suits. 

Wear our bikinis in areas that are against masks and freeing the nip. Then, enjoy watching their moral dilemma.

Can you wear one of our suits at Costco in lieu of a face mask? We would risk it for a sweet $1.50 hot dog. 

Jake Arredondo is best described as a comedian without an audience. Below are a few of his most-recent accomplishments.

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