PPE Bikinis & Boardshorts

Swimwear that makes you look so hot, people will think you have a fever.

PPE Bikinis & Boardshorts

Swimwear that makes you look so hot, people will think you have a fever.

PPE Bikinis & Boardshorts

Swimwear so hot, you'll think you have a fever.

A percentage of the proceeds will be used to help clean up the ocean. 

Help us acquire startup funding! 


Women's Swimwear

Scroll down or use the buttons below to dive into a specific design.

Sultry Surgical 

We apologize; it will be impossible for people to social distance when they see you wearing our swimwear.


Photo of our PPE Bikini called the Seafoam-Green Surgical Swimsuit. Photo features a girl swinging from tree with a mask that matches her bikini.
Graph showing demand for ladders.

Women wearing Strapless Sultry Surgical swimsuit. She is on a beach and sitting on a hammock with the net being a face mask.

Check out our founder's Instagram. He spends thousands of hours making jokes/real companies.  

Naughty 95

If you find a store that says masks are optional, then we are pretty sure you can just walk in naked. 

Women wearing Naughty 95 PPE Bikini coming out of pool with out-of-bounds image technique.

Women wearing N-Ninety Fire Bikini sitting on pool ledge.

In order to speed up production time, we are open to partnering with an established manufacturer.

Quarantini

The only thing that will spread faster than Covid is your phone number.

Graph showing demand for ladders.
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Subscribe now and gain access to exclusive discounts and product releases.  

One PPiEce

Our suits help fatten your curves, so you can show off what your momma gave you. 

Women wearing Hazardous Material Swimsuit who is sitting on a diving board. Image is an example of out of bounds photography.
vaci-Nation swimsuit with needles in place of stars on the American flag swimsuit.

Check our parent company to see our growing network. 

Men's Swimwear 

Our Super Spreadwear product line is still in development, but we released a few concept designs.

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PPE Swimwear Benefits

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Giving Back

We donate a portion of the profits.The only cause your friend's swimsuit purchase helped is their own narcissism.

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Unique Styles

Many startups half-ass their designs. Not us. The only thing half assed will be people flaunting their cheeks in our suits. 

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Equality

Wear our bikinis in areas that are against masks and freeing the nip. Then, enjoy watching their moral dilemma.

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Costco Access

Can you wear one of our suits at Costco in lieu of a face mask? We would risk it for a sweet $1.50 hot dog. 

Our Founder

Jake Arredondo is best described as a comedian without an audience. Below are a few of his most-recent accomplishments.

Follow Jake
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Charity Info 


FAQ

To-Do List

Our suits help fatten your curves, so you can show off what your momma gave you. 

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